You already know who it is

Aiight people, I have an announcement to make!  After careful planning and diligent execution……I have developed a mini-belly!!!  Please, please….hold your applause until the end of the show.  For those of you who weren’t just clapping in congratulatory fashion for yours truly, you are probably wondering “what the hell is a mini-belly?”  That is definitely a fair question and as always, I am here to explain.

Think along the same lines of a mini-fridge or mini-keg.  It’s still a fridge and still a keg, but just a smaller version.  My mini-belly is still a belly, but just smaller.  Honestly, to the untrained eye, my mini-belly is not even noticeable.  I have a solid frame as it is so, it’s actually quite easy for me to hide my mini-belly.  I just feel like talking about my mini-belly so, that’s why I’m even writing about this absolutely ridiculous topic.  (I’m actually making myself laugh because I think this is definitely the most retarded thing I’ve blogged about yet.)

If you’re still with me – WOW, good for you!  I’ll continue explaining…. You’ve probably wondering why I call it a “mini-belly,” right?  I’m calling it a mini-belly because I can still see some definition in my abdominal area and my mini-belly does not hang over my belt.  Once I can no longer see any definition and my stomach has invaded the outside of my jeans, I’ll have graduated to a full belly!  I really don’t think I’ll get there because I am somewhat health and appearance conscious.  Plus, full belly just isn’t that sexy!

Now you probably want to know how I came to grow my mini-belly?  Well, first of all, I just stopped going to the gym all together!  For some reason, I’ve never liked the gym I go to.  I don’t know why but I just don’t like going to this particular gym.  But that’s not the full reason why I stopped going to the gym.  The rest of the reason is that I’ve just become totally lazy and I’m totally unapologetic about it too!  I just don’t want to go.  I mean, I get up in the morning, shower and get dressed.  I really don’t want to have to change into gym clothes, get sweaty, shower again and then get dressed again!  Too much going on!  One dressing a day is quite enough for me!

Second, I’ve started to enjoy eating food more.  I’ve discussed with some of you in the past that I used to view food as solely a method of fueling the body.  I used to look at food as either protein or carbs.  Now, I’m actually enjoying the taste of different foods so, naturally I’m trying more foods – generally the ones that aren’t that good for me!  Like seriously, there is no reason why I should have a box of mini-tacos in my freezer!  They’re definitely not good for me and they don’t even taste that great, but since I’m getting away from eating strictly healthy foods – why not buy a box of mini-tacos?  Put 6 on a plate, one minute in the microwave and boom – instant meal!

So I’m sure you are totally disgusted by now, but for some reason you’re still reading this and asking yourself – what’s gonna stop you from growing a full belly?  This is also a fair question.  Well, for one, I will start going back to the gym in February.  They charge me every month whether I go or not so, for that reason alone, I will start going back to the gym.  Also, I do try to balance the really bad foods with some really healthy foods.  Like I still eat rice cakes, vegetables and stuff.  I figure that if I keep it somewhat balanced, I’ll be able to sustain my mini-belly lifestyle.

And like I mentioned earlier, I am still appearance conscious so, I’ll never let myself get to full belly status.  All those health risks and sh*t ain’t cool.

So if you have actually read all the way down to this point, something is really wrong with YOU!  There is no reason why you should have paid this much attention to me talking about the part of my body that I’ve labeled my “mini-belly!”  Seriously, why have you read this far down???  Obviously, something is wrong with me, but something is even more wrong with YOU because you’re STILL reading this even thought I just told you at the beginning of this paragraph that there is really zero reason why you should have read that far, but you can’t control yourself and you are STILL reading this!  WOW – please… just STOP!  The thought of you still reading this is making me and my mini-belly feel really uncomfortable!!!

Alright, I see that you are officially sick because you are STILL reading this!  Ok, fine.  You win!

I hope you have fully enjoyed my introduction and education about my mini-belly.  Obviously you have because you’ve totally ignored me telling you how gross you are and now you are on the verge of toally violating my personal space!  Well, since I’m not going to stop you anyways, I guess I’ll just leave you with some pics and say Good Nite.

Wagamama is this British noodle restaurant chain.  It’s good eats.  Plus, it’s called Wagamama!  Just saying it is pretty cool, now imagine eating there!  I approved when I ate there.  I still aprove now.

(If you didn’t notice, I just figured out how to imbed links into sh*t so, you can actually click the banner and go to their site.  I’m like real nice right now!)

Since we’re across the pond (I really don’t like saying corny phrases like that but since I already typed it, I’ll let it stay), lets visit Italy.  I really love this ad!  There’s a billboard not far from me with this ad on it and I was a fan at first glance!

First of all, it’s real sexy!  Granted leather boots and beer don’t really have a natural connection, but they really do thou.  My favorite part is how they branded the boot with the small red Peroni tag.  Subtle but smooth!  Then on top of all the fly sh*t in this add, the beer is excellent!  I’m a marketing guy so, of course I like sh*t like this.

Again, I approve.

I snagged this from somewhere, but this is a set of skis by Speciale for British men’s retailer, Dunhill.  I’ve never skied but, I would definitely cop a pair of these and display them at the crib!  Chicks dig cool sh*t in your crib.  Real official!

No post is ever complete without a litte smut.  Look closely at the pic.  It’s made up of small glasses of Guinness all filled to differnt levels to create the image of the woman!  I’m feelin it!  The link I imbeded in the pic doesn’t go to the Guinness site, but it takes you to this article on the Why Go To Ireland website titled “Gorgeous Women Drinking Guinness.”  The chicks ain’t that bad looking, some are actually cute.  Check it.

This is just funny!

Taraji P. Henson cause she was just nominated for an Academy Award and cause she’s gorgeous!  This pic just moved me.  I’m sure a few of you were just moved too.

Good one to end on.  one.

This entry was posted on January 31, 2009 at 4:16 am and is filed under athlétisme, clothing, design, Fly Sh*t, grub, places, products, shortys / models / women, totally random, Uncategorized with tags Academy Awards, Beer, Dunhill, Food, Guinness, Humor, Italy, London, McDonalds, mini-belly, Peroni, Random, Restaurants, Sexy, Ski, Taraji Henson, Wagamama, Women, You Tube. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.