YAKWII is taking applications for a maid/assistant.  Qualifications are:

1. Female applicants only.  (F*ck that equal opportunity sh*t.)

2. 5′ 5″ or under.  (YAKWII like’em petite.)

3. No donelap.  (Look it up if you don’t know what that means.)

4. Must wear bamboo earrings while working. (Minimum 1 pair)

5. Has cute toes.  (YAKWII likes cute toes.)

6. Able to work very odd hours.  (YAKWII don’t sleep.)

7. Can brew coffee in a French Press.  (YAKWII doesn’t do drugs.)

8. Understands how to properly pour Guinness.  (YAKWII loves a good stout.  This is a deal breaker if toes are not very cute!)

9. Willing to buy YAKWII food.  (YAKWII stay broke.)

10. Has reliable transportation.  (YAKWII’s car is always on the verge of breaking down.  YAKWII may need a ride home.)

11. Willing to inflate YAKWII’s ego every hour on the hour.  (YAKWII needs that.  Feel free to be creative.  YAKWII likes creativity.)

12. Willing to do additional tasks as assigned.  (Word.)

Send head shot and back shot to ualreadyknowwhoitis@gmail.com.

Serious applicants only.

Follow YAKWII @UAlreadyKnowWho

Like we’ve said in the past, YAKWII is not a smut house, but every now and then we like to take a walk on the wild side.  Today is one of those days.  This post is NOT SAFE FOR WORK (NSFW)!

Enjoy.

Follow YAKWII @UAlreadyKnowWho

via Model Mayhem & Dynasty Series

I gotta admit, I wasn’t always feelin Hoopz.  I think it was the whole Flavor Flav thing.  However, I got over that and finally realized that his is a bad chick!  Damn.

The YAKWII spot is open for business, Mz. Hoopz!  Fall thru.

Follow YAKWII @UAlreadyKnowWho

Photos via King, Indos Place and the internets

A couple of weeks ago, I made this big announcement about how I was going to get back on my fly sh*t, create some new stories for you and so on and so forth.  Have I started doing that?  Real talk, yeah, I actually have started a few new pieces.  However, have I finished anything?  F*ck no!  Not even close.

However, I have been busy writing, but not on the YAKWII tip though.  Some people have gassed my head up to the point where I think I can actually break into writing as a career.  Imagine that.

This is a looong term plan thou!  Very long.  However, in the short term, I’ve been challenging myself to write short stories without the use of visual aids, which is what we’re all about here at YAKWII.  Much harder than you think!

I’m also trying my hand at a movie script.  (Word to the casting couch!)

Again, this is another long range plan.  However, I’ve caught the writing bug, so I’ve been just putting my fingers to the keyboard and trying to make it happen.

So as a consolation to those who give a f*ck about what goes on here at YAKWII, I’m gonna start putting up more pics of tits and ass.

Pretty sure I won’t get many complaints about that.  (Thanks, B.H.O.)  Though, just know that I am working on YAKWII material, but in along with some other things.  It’s coming thou.

You never know, maybe one day we’ll see YAKWII: The Movie.  I have no clue what the f*ck it would be about, but it would be hot thou!  Probably a mix between A Clockwork Orange, Eyes Wide Shut, Belly, Family Guy, Entourage and The Price is Right.

Word.

So who knows what the future may hold?  Only one way to find out – Let’s Get It!

Follow YAKWII @UAlreadyKnowWho

Hot 90′s joint by Tracey Lee.  Dude’s a lawyer now!  True story.

Follow YAKWII @UAlreadyKnowWho

Well, when YAKWII puts sh*t out in the universe, YAKWII gets sh*t back!  Big homie Lex let us know that this beautiful woman is Tiffani Pierre.  God Bless(ed) Her!

Good looks, Lex!  Ms. Pierre is more than welcome to fall thru the YAKWII spot!

More pics after the jump!

Follow YAKWII @UAlreadyKnowWho

On the real, this computer sh*t is bananas!  I’m gonna holla at Steve Jobs and Bill Gates and see how we can get this money together.  I want in!  Straight cash.

Follow YAKWII @UAlreadyKnowWho

He sent me over this story on Wednesday, but I haven’t had a chance to post it up until now.  I’ve been doin sh*t (not really).

As usual, no matter how much I have going on in my life (I have nothing going on in my life), Jambox manages to have more fun on a f*ckin Tuesday than I have in an entire month (more like 3 months)!  Thank God fairness is a man-made concept (that’s how I justify the sh*t that happens to me) because otherwise I’d just be depressed every day (and sob uncontrollably into my pillow every night).

Regardless of how I feel (horny), someone’s gotta have fun in this world and who better the Jambox (me)!  So without further adieu, heeeere’s Jambox!

So it’s a short week for me and hopefully a great one as I will explain.  I just returned to the city (on a tuesday, great start to be sure)

and of course I went to see the sugarmomma because I was hungry. Period.

I’m an animal, when hungry, I eat…

So she took me out with many iffy people who would ruin my fun.  Kinda like play acting but she pays all my drinks and food for real. So I meet a couple UFC fighters who all want to fuck my biddy.

But cool as a cucumber I roll out with the knowledge that I’d be meeting the older sluuuuty biddy at the bar next to my house.

And oh yes, not only did she show up with impeccable timing but with a smile and the wallet out.

But that couldn’t stop the kid.  I decided that I would keep the momma out past her bedtime.  I brought her down the block to the roach infested pad with a mirror behind the bed (huge draw)

and waited and she prepped the cooch for entry.

Meanwhile I ran into roommate no 1.  Not the huge douche but the other douche.  Thankfully, my older lady was a girl scout and when faced with this dilemma pulled up her skirt and said,

“Excuse me but this guy has to fuck me now!”

and pulled me into my room.  Possibly the best move I’ve ever seen from a lady and we proceeded to wake the neighbors and the roomies and the hobos on the street.

Then she said:

“I have to go home cause people are looking for me but I have no work tomorrow, wanna fuck?”

To which I nodded like a kid who just finished a double header

and was asked if he’d like some ice cream shaped like reggie jackson’s… bat (thought I’d say cock, didn’t you, sickos!).

So I’m now on vacation – it’s official – trying to plan out how to work my now gimpy self out through a schedule of fucking usually only seen by professionals.

Got my sugarmomma for breakfast AND lunch. At least I’ll be well fed. Got an indian for dinner and my italian who is FOB for second dinner.

Yes, like the hobbits, I like to have multiple meals of the same name.  Not to mention that the soccer player is dying to see me this week and I am purportedly leaving the city thursday afternoon… A development to be tracked by those people who care (nobody).

And so the misadventures of Jamstar (Huh, who’s Jamstar?  See what I mean, this guy has so much f*ckin fun he forgets his OWN NAME!) continue despite turmoil surrounding the name and the humidity that continues to blow over the city.

Please be advised that if not intoxicated from too much of a substance that we all used to eat tirelessly back in the day (yes you best all know it, most of you wish you could be eating it right now!) (Pussy?) none of this language would be possible.

Enjoy Wednesday my dear friends and I sincerely hope you are smiling from ear to ear at some point. I intend to be!

Follow YAKWII @UAlreadyKnowWho