even Superman has off days….

Hey everyone.  My apologies to those who woke up this (now yesterday) morning expecting more insomniantic, over-caffeinated and  impulsive ranting & raving from me.  I actually experienced my 2nd consecutive night of uninterrupted and blissful sleep.  I guess it was much needed, but it has completely thrown me off my game today!  Seriously, I’ve been all calm and sh*t all day long!  I actually had a really great topic to write about, but I was too relaxed and even-keeled to pepper in the necessary wit and ridiculousness that has skyrocketed my readership to an all time high of approximately……(drum roll please!)…….7!!!  It would be 8, but like I mentioned, I’ve climbed down off my Trojan horse and stopped reading my own postings (for now).

Seriously, I got nothin today!  I’m even having issues pumping up my own ego, which I have an amazing ability to do so whenever I feel my ego needs pumping – which is usually never because it stays very inflated about 99.4% of the time.  However, at least four times a week, I like to jack that sh*t up to about 99.932% so, I just start telling anyone who will listen, including myself, just how great and amazing of a person I am.  This sleep sh*t has got me all humble and sh*t today!  Bet some of you had wished you spoke to me today, huh!  You snoozed, you loozed!

All I kinda have are some observations that I have made recently:

1) Is it me or when you play your Itunes on “random” does it play a particular artist unproportionately more than others?  I have over 6,000 songs in my Itunes, but for some reason it definitely plays the 20-25 songs I have by 50 cent waaaaay more that any other artist!  I would think that the random play function is based upon some type of simple algorithm, but I have zero clue what data it’s using to determine what songs are played.  On my playlist, he only has one song that cracks the list of top 200 songs played.  (And by the way, that is an accurate account because I really just counted off the top 200 played songs in my Itunes.  Sad.  yes I know.  it’s friday night and I’m counting my itunes songs.  yes.  it is sad.)  So it can’t be based upon top played songs.  I don’t know.  However, my conspiracy theory is that he and I’m sure other artists pay Apple to have their songs recognized and played more frequently than others when people play their Itunes “randomly.”  not cool.

If you guys have noticed, I’ve been calling out companies and products more often because I know they scan blogs for customer feedback and opinions.  If I can get on the radar of a company, maybe I can start pulling down sponsorship dollars!  Trust me, I’m not that loyal!  I sure the hell will sell out for a check!  I ain’t dumb!  The only company I have not said by name, but strategically placed and blocked out part of their logo on here is A$$mart because they don’t mess around!  They tear down communities and jack up their own employees so,  they’d have zero problem tearing me a new one!  Like I said, I ain’t dumb!

2) Is it me or do people have the inability to walk straight up and down the aisles in the grocery store???  I’m not even talking about with the shopping cart or anything, I talking just walking parallel to the shelves as the store is designed to have its customers do.  I went to the store yesterday and seriously, I’d be pushing my cart up the right side of the aisle and another person would be walking down the left side.  Then all of the sudden, they jump over into the path of my cart?!?!  I’m not talking kids either, these are old a$$, grown a$$ adults!  Do you want me to plow you over with my cart full of pasta and lunch meat??  Seriously, it must have happened at least 6 times yesterday!

Then the craziest thing that happened was when I was “pulled over” with my cart to the side of the aisle looking at cereal.  I guess this old lady wanted my “parking spot” so, she pulled her cart right behind me and kind of “idled” there for a bit and then slowly kept inching closer and closer to my rear end!  WTF!  She looked like one of those crazy old lady’s with like 47 cats in her apartment and 16 in the car so,  I said forget the cereal and I took my cart and pulled off!  It was like we were outside in the parking lot!  I guess that’s what I get for going to the store during the daylight hours.  My store is 24 hours so,  I usually go at like 10 or 11 pm.  You won’t catch me there before 9pm ever again!

3) This next observation has been kinda surprise to me.  Of all my posts on here, my “mini-belly” post has by far gotten the most attention!  It was definitely one of my more “out there” posts.  Seriously, I think most of the people who I know read this pretty regularly have made at least one comment to me about that post.  I really don’t know what to think about this.  On one hand, I’m assuming that it was halfway entertaining so, that’s why you commented to me about it.  Or it was so weird that you had to ask me about it.  Or you all are concerned for my health.  Or you were secretly trying to tell me that you are just as odd as I am and you wish that you had written about your mini-belly or that you also have a desire to grow a mini-belly but are afraid to admit it.  Not sure which option fits each individual, but if you’re feeling brave, leave a comment to this post on the TRUE reason you were drawn you in to the “mini-belly” post.  The comments are anonymous to the public, but I can see who said what.  I’m curious about this one!

It’s now been about 2.5 hours since I typed the first word for this post.  I took a long break to surf the web for a while before starting this paragraph.  I’ve been trying to figure out how to end this post, but nothing good has come to mind.  I still must be suffering from that rest I got last night…wtf!  Well, one thing I’ll say before signing off is that be sure to look out for my Fly Guy & Snob Stories series’ coming real soon.  It’s going to be the more cultured side of me.  Up until this point, I’ve been pretty random.  Now it’s time to show off my refined side.  I do have a side that is quite refined if I do say so myself – actually, there’s no “if” – I do say so myself!  I’m just going to hit you all with posts that will be a bit more focused.  Now, that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to do my usual thing because I don’t plan to give up on that.  However, if this sleep thing continues, it may be an extremely uphill battle.  Only time will tell about this one.  Usually I end off with some visuals, but I’m also struggling with what to show so, the only thing left to do is say – good nite.

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