If I don’t understand this….

street-shots-paris-fashion-week-09-1

(This very well may be my last post because there’s a good chance I’m gonna get sued and/or shot for the sh*t I’m about to write!)

Yeah….what’s really good with this picture?  This was taken back in January when Kanye & Co. ventured over to Paris for fashion week.  Now, I am a fan of high fashion.  Granted, a lot of the stuff is useless and not practical, but I’m a big fan of the creativity used in the design work and advertising.  For example…

jchoo

This is an ad campaign done in 2006 by Jimmy Choo featuring Qunicy Jones and Molly Simms.  This sh*t is hot!  Incredibly sexy!  Besides the fact that none of the ads really make any sense, where else would you see Q and Ms. Simms in the same place?  In a limited edition Obama gold coin commercial?  A Snuggie commercial?  Nah, only in high fashion can these two come together an make a hot ad!  Back to the photo of Kanye & Co…

street-shots-paris-fashion-week-09-11

Paris is a great city with lots of very fashionable people!  I had a chance to visit there and for the most part I enjoyed myself, except for a small incident with some dog poop, so I can understand having to elevate your gear a bit when you go for a visit.  And with this picture, I would actually rock the outfits that Yeezy and the two dudes to the right are wearing.  Unfortunately, I have zero clue what the f*ck is going on with the three dudes to the left!  This is why I am here to address a couple of things that strike me as “different” with this photo.

A) No man should EVER wear tights/spandex/leggings in this manner!  Yeah, I’m talkin about you leopard print man!  I mean something should have felt VERY WRONG when he put those on that morning!  Very Wrong! The thought, “Damn, I shouldn’t be wearing these leopard print tights!” should have flowed through this dudes head at least 10 times before he left his hotel room!  I can’t even give dude the benefit of the doubt on this one!  The only reason dudes should be wearing tights is if they are doing some type of athletic sh*t.  So unless you’re setting world records on the track like this guy…

usain-bolt-olympics-200m1 Or in the pool like this guy….

michael-phelps-sports-illustrated2

Leave the tights at home homie!!!!!

B) What the f*ck are these dudes carrying inside of their briefcases?  This was a question that came up one day when me and my homegirl Soteria were shooting the sh*t about a bunch of randomness as we usually do.  I mean…Kanye is a rapper!  Why does a rap dude need to carry a briefcase?  (As shown in an earlier post, dude’s got mad bags!) He’s said many times that he doesn’t write down his rhymes so, we know there are no rhyme books in there!  However, since Mr. West is the leader of the crew, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s carrying some important papers and sh*t.  Matter of fact, I’ll get into what might be in that briefcase in a second.  But the rest of these dudes he’s rolling with….guarantee them cases is empty!!!

Aiight… like I mentioned, we here at YAKWII are putting on our detective hats and are going to answer the question inquiring minds are dying to know….

case1WHAT’S INSIDE KANYE’S BRIEFCASE?????

#1

hand-mirror-22As Kanye has let the world know, Kanye is Kanye’s biggest fan!  So it would only make sense for dude to have a little hand mirror in that case of his.  And you know that this is probably a pretty accurate depiction of dude’s actual mirror too!

#2

yeezy-faceTo go along with looking at himself in the mirror, dude probably also carries around a wall size photo of himself too!  I can see him sending it ahead to the hotel before he gets there so he can look at himself as soon as he walks into the room.  Hey, whatever does it for you man!

#3

hov-yeezyKanye loves himself some Jay-Z!  As much as he loves himself, he loves Hov even more!  Dude still name drops Jay-Z whenever he gets a chance.  He be sayin rhymes like “My name is Kanye and I’m here to say, I luv Jay-Z in a special way…”  WHAT???  So along with that wall size photo of himself, I’m pretty sure he sends this one ahead to the hotels as well.

#4

lv-scarf-colormix-1I know he’s got at least 7 of these little flowy Louis Vuitton rags/scarfs up in there!  These things I don’t understand!  Silk scarves like these are for women!

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But for some reason every rap dude decided to start rockin them???

tip-louis-ragWhat’s really good with all this nonsense?  You ain’t no damn cowboy!  Now, I can understand rocking a regular scarf when it’s cold outside because I wear one.

scarves

I was even rockin one when it wasn’t cool for dudes to wear one and I caught hell for it too!  However, I’ve always done my own thing anyways so it was whatever.  (Funny thing is seeing my friends wear scarfs now!  See all that time you clowns were walking around all cold and sh*t and I was warm!  Didn’t want to wear a scarf cause it wasn’t “cool,” but now ya’ll wanna rock them??  Suckas!)  But of course these rap dudes got a hold of that too and made it look f*ckin ridiculous!!!

party

WTF?  Dude, you rockin a skully with a scarf draped over it…inside!!!

I digress…

#5

jergensAs a guy, sometimes you gotta…you know…take things “into your own hands” so to speak.  Even with all the groupie luv dude probably gets, sometimes you just gotta handle yours.  Just grab a bottle of lotion and a girlie magazine like Playboy and you get….

presentation12

HOWEVER, Yeezy isn’t your normal, everyday dude.  As we mentioned earlier, dude has a deep affection for Mr. Shawn Carter so this equation could also look like this…

copy-of-presentation1Now, let me be PERFECTLY CLEAR, I am NOT calling dude’s sexual orientation into question!  I could really care less who he’s attracted to and/or sleeps with.  To dude’s credit, he’s been seen with a fair share of bangers that would make anyone jealous!

chicks

But dude does have an extremely high level of affection for Mister Beyonce.  So, to be fair, the equation probably looks more like this…

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# 6

yeezy-bearAnd last, but not least, his trusted Yeezy bear.  No matter how old you get, sometimes you need that special something to bring you back to those good ol’days of childhood.

OK, now that we’ve covered what’s INSIDE Kanye’s briefcase, I want to quickly point out what’s obviously NOT INSIDE dude’s case….

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As I’ve mentioned before, it’s obvious that Mr. West broke up with his barber because dude’s head is a mess! You would think that he would at least carry around a brush, comb or some type of hair grooming tool.  However….

copy-of-kanye-mess

I guess he’s like Sampson …..his hair only makes him Stronger

Drive slow homie……

ONE.

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2 Responses to “If I don’t understand this….”

  1. Just passing by.Btw, your website have great content!

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  2. LOL! Don’t ever hate on the snuggie again though? And the commemorative coin commercials don’t need Q & S, they have Montel…who more do you need? I bet The Mint paid a lot of money to press them and pay Montel to show up to work. Even if they did not make all that money back in revenue, they have all those valuable coins to….

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