Sunday morning at the Pump House!

Sup people.  This morning I woke up and decided to make my way over to the Pump House (gym) and get it in during the early part of my day, rather than my usual Sunday afternoon workout time.  Huge mistake!  There was all kinds of weird sh*t going on in there this morning!  After this morning’s experience, I goin back to my Sunday afternoon workouts.

Check after the jump for my Sunday morning Pump House story.

(Yes, I do wear a torso-less and sleeveless unitard, similar to the one pictured above, to the Pump House.)

First and foremost, my iPod Shuffle 5th generation f*ckin sucks!  I read the reviews and people said “Do not buy it!,” but my iPod Shuffle 2nd generation sh*t the bed, so I really didn’t have much of a choice.  Here’s are the problems I’m having:

  • Volume will not adjust using the buttons on headphones.  It’s either really, really loud or I can’t hear anything.  However, I figured out that if I turn it off and then back on, the volume usually lowers or raises depending on the setting prior to turning it off, but you still cannot manually adjust it.  F*ckin awesome.
  • The double-click Skip and triple-click Repeat functions only work when they want to and that’s usually once a gym session.  Today they worked fine UNTIL I had to turn the thing off and back on because the volume was stuck on extra high.  When I turned it back on, the  volume adjusted down, but then I couldn’t skip or repeat any songs.  Guess you can’t have it your way all the time?
  • Guess I can’t blame Apple for this last thing, but the earbuds won’t stay in my ears.  I have to constantly adjust them every third movement – while walking, running or farting doesn’t matter what I do, I have to keep pushing them back in my ears.  Gotta holla at my mom and dad about this one.

So you can see that me and my iPod have a Love/Hate relationship – it loves to piss me off and I hate it for pissing me off.  However, it’s either deal with my iPod or listen to the Beyonce techno remixes that play over the gym sound system.  Who the f*ck listens to that sh*t?  Movin on….

No, Mutumbo didn’t show up at the Pump House this morning which would have been dope, but there was this dude with a hightop fade rockin his old Hawks jersey thou.  That was pretty ill.

I saw some interesting footwear in the Pump House this morning.  One guy was wearing the Vibram Five Fingers.  If you’re a loyal YAKWII follower, you know all about the Five Fingers!  If not, check the YAKWII archive.  Also saw someone in a pair of dirty white loafers.  Hmmm…. must have been driving home from an all-night extacy-powered rave and figured he’d get in a quick workout before the sh*t wore off.

There were ZERO shortys in the Pump House this morning!  Just a bunch of middle aged women gettin their jazzercise on.  However, I really can’t say too much about the lack of chicks in my gym.  I go to the location near the suburbs cause it’s usually less packed and people actually workout while there.  If I go to the in-town locations, there’s a lot more eye candy, but no one actually goes to workout!  They just go to hang out, which is pointless to me.

Seriously, these people just lay on top of the machines, get in everyone’s way, chat with their other friends who are there just to hang out and then leave.  If I’m gonna make the effort to go over to the gym, I’m at least gonna do some kind of workout.  If I want to hang out, I’ll go to a bar, coffee shop, restaurant or even a flippin bus stop – not the gym!

The best part of the Pump House experience this morning was the near fight over a treadmill!

You know that rarely enforced rule of “30 minutes maximum on cardio equipment when people are waiting?”  Well, like I mentioned earlier, the Pump House was packed this morning and “Guy A” wanted to use a treadmill, so he decided to put the rule to work.  Guy A was your regular, everyday out of shape dude.  He was one of those guys with a beer gut who’s trying his best to get his fat a$$ in shape.

“Guy B” was one of those cocky marathon runner types who had obviously been on the treadmill for at least an hour.  Unfortunately, I know these types all too well.  I did track in high school and college and for some reason some of these long distance runners are unbelievably cocky for some unknown reason.  They’re usually the smallest people in the gym, so maybe it’s some kind of inferiority complex?  I don’t know.  Back to the story…

Guy A goes up to Guy B and says something to him about being on the treadmill for so long.  Guy B takes his headphones off and responds to Guy A, but doesn’t stop running.  Guy A, who is much bigger than Guy B, is now getting annoyed that this little sh*t will not get off the treadmill and continues to get into Guy B’s face.  Then Guy A walks over to “Pump House employee A” and tells him about the situation.

Pump House employee A goes over to Guy B who is still running and talks to him about getting off of the treadmill because others are waiting to use the machine.  Guy B doesn’t give a sh*t what Pump House employee A has to say and keeps running.  Guy A come back over and gets back into the face of Guy B, who is still running, while Pump House employee A holds him back.

It was hard to hear everything that was said between all three people, but I did hear Guy A say “You think everyone here has to wait so you can take care of your needs?  You f*ckin dip sh*t!”  Guy B still doesn’t give a sh*t and keeps running.  I swear that if Guy B had made a smart comment to Guy A, Guy A would have thrown him off the treadmill!

At this point, Guy A decides to take off to the locker room.  Then “Pump House employee B” comes over and talks to Guy B about getting off the treadmill.  They talk for 5-7 minutes, all while Guy B is still running, and Guy B still refuses to get off of the treadmill.  Eventually Pump House employee B walks away and then makes a all-gym announcement about the “30 minute cardio rule” as a ploy to get Guy B off the treadmill.  Guy B keeps running.

Then Guy A walks back out of the locker room and grills Guy B for about 2 minutes straight!  Guy B keeps running, not giving a sh*t.  Now Pump House Employees A & B and Guy A are all talking and grilling Guy B as he keep running.  Guy A, still pissed off, eventually leaves.  Soon after, Guy B finishes up and gets off treadmill.  However, Guy B made sure to take a look outside to see if Guy A was still lurking because he knows he would have taken his head off and then taken it for a jog on the treadmill.  Too funny!

Too much action for me on a Sunday morning!  From this day forward, you will only catch YAKWII at the Pump House after 3pm on Sunday’s!

Follow YAKWII @UAlreadyKnowWho

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One Response to “Sunday morning at the Pump House!”

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