Don’t make no sense!

Overflowing pile of clean clothes.  Been like that for 2 weeks.  Got more in the dryer too.  Don’t make no sense!

YAKWII is taking applications for a maid/assistant.  Qualifications are:

1. Female applicants only.  (F*ck that equal opportunity sh*t.)

2. 5′ 5″ or under.  (YAKWII like’em petite.)

3. No donelap.  (Look it up if you don’t know what that means.)

4. Must wear bamboo earrings while working. (Minimum 1 pair)

5. Has cute toes.  (YAKWII likes cute toes.)

6. Able to work very odd hours.  (YAKWII don’t sleep.)

7. Can brew coffee in a French Press.  (YAKWII doesn’t do drugs.)

8. Understands how to properly pour Guinness.  (YAKWII loves a good stout.  This is a deal breaker if toes are not very cute!)

9. Willing to buy YAKWII food.  (YAKWII stay broke.)

10. Has reliable transportation.  (YAKWII’s car is always on the verge of breaking down.  YAKWII may need a ride home.)

11. Willing to inflate YAKWII’s ego every hour on the hour.  (YAKWII needs that.  Feel free to be creative.  YAKWII likes creativity.)

12. Willing to do additional tasks as assigned.  (Word.)

Send head shot and back shot to ualreadyknowwhoitis@gmail.com.

Serious applicants only.

Follow YAKWII @UAlreadyKnowWho

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